Fresh from the lind-e-list

[unbibium]

9. Swing Etiquette tip #84
When someone asks you to dance, your response should nearly always be, "yes, thank you, I'd love to." It is never acceptable to say no because you don't think this partner is good enough for you, or because you are hoping someone "better" asks you. It is never acceptable to say "no" to one person and then "yes" to another, "better" dancer on the same dance. Few experiences are more demoralizing to the rejected partner, and your three minutes of fun are not worth ruining someone else's entire evening.

I haven't seen this to be a big problem, myself, and I imagine the women on the mailing list resent the idea that they're not allowed to reject anyone for any reason, or have any control over their situation. Just to let you know, you won't hurt anyone's feelings if you sit out a few songs, or if you've promised the next dance to someone else. One cannot argue with the primal economic forces of supply and demand.

It also supports the idea that the year I spent swing dancing was more of a triumph over my own shyness than a source of validation from gurls. It shouldn't matter now, as I've transcended such baby steps at this point.

Comments

Re: In contras,

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Possible solutions.

Some bars in New York are 'no flirting with each other' bars so people can enjoy drinks without having to worry about being slobbered over

Might help in like 'At least if he starts being a jerk flirt I can have him yelled at by the management and or thrown out'