(no subject)

dear devi's Mom:

devi doesn't want you to know, but she has an even secreter journal here. don't read it!

(no subject)

Dear Devi's mom:

I have all of her friends-only entries burned onto CD-Rom. You may have a copy for $2500 cash in nonsequential bills.

For an extra $100, I will send it to my uncle's movie-editing company in Utah to edit all the F-words, S-words, and K-words out of her posts.

For an extra $500, you can have a copy of the "video" referred to in some of the posts.

For an extra $200, I will hand-translate all of the Arabic into English.

And for an extra $50, I will provide the answer to the riddle she posted on Cinco de Mayo. (The answer used to be in jaffo's journal.)

Payment arrangements will be same as before.

Free Book of Mormon included with any order.

(no subject)

I went to the supermarket looking for a jar or can of red bacon.

The clerk could not help me, because he has heard of no such thing.

Then I got home and found the recipe called for "real bacon". Oops.

doidy doidy doidy doidy doidy doidy doidy doidy doidy doidy doidy doidy doidy!