(no subject)

Tonight tamtrible called and asked if she should drop off the light mayonnaise I lent her for her party last weekend, before her week-long trip to Tucson. I did and told her I could also loan her that Mitch Hedberg CD I'd recommended a few months ago.

Then justinsane announced on FB that he was seeing Hugo 3D at AZ Mills this weekend. I suddenly remembered that I wanted to see it, and AZ Mills is right off I-10, so I asked if she could drop me off at the theater, and she agreed, provided she got to run a few errands first.

During those errands, I played the Hedberg CD and somehow it wasn't as funny as I remember it. A lot of unprofessional vamping at the start of the CD, and a lot of non-starter jokes. The CD I picked was clearly for people who had already seen him do a clean five minutes on cable a few times, or seen a well-edited comedy special, or seen him live.

anyway, once I got dropped off, further adding to my embarrassment, I realized I had no cash and no debit card. So I had to call Melissa and have her double back and loan me $12 so I could get into the theater, find my friends, and get a ride home with one of them.

And then after I saw the movie, I realized that what I should have done was invite her to come see Hugo 3D, because it seems like precisely her kind of movie.

(no subject)

so, last night I went to see Hugo 3d. tonight I had the option of going with the old RHPS types to Tucson with them, but ugh i'm tired. I think I ran out of steam.

some depression treatment theory I've read seems to indicate that if I just keep busy enough I'll chase the blues away, but if that were true then going out three nights this week would have done it, right?

I have a bit of a paradox that I'm anxious around people, but bored by myself. Solving the bored by myself problem may be easier and will definitely be less risky. I can push myself into some progress on some of these hobbies, and do those CBT exercises.

main dysfunctional thoughts include: "I'm 34, I should be cured by now," "if what happened in 2008 happens again I don't think I'll survive next time," and of course, "I'm worse today than I was in 2003."

The annoying thing about "I am bad" opinions is that you can't universally rate people on a simple good-to-bad scale. And even if you subdivide those into other scales like smart-to-dumb... well, Albert Ellis has done a lot of writing on that and it's kind of annoying and less convincing than when David Burns wrote similar things.