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It wasn't a move that I learned tonight.
Oct. 10th, 2001 12:42 amStayed at the club until 11:30, my latest yet. It really started to thin out by then. I did a lot of dancing; I don't think I even counted how many people I danced with. And I learned a LOT.
The thing I'm most glad I learned is a certain aspect of not being self-centered in my dancing. Granted, as the guy I'm the lead, so naturally I'm going to have a lot of control over how the dance goes. So, my strategy has always been to think "OK, a move would be good.... NOW!" and then I'd do a move and she'd spin around and I'd be like "OK, I need a different move now. Oh no! I think I've done all my moves!" Then, between dances tonight, I decided to watch some poeple dancing and see what other people were doing differently from me, and I noticed that a lot of guys just took a few measures holding one hand and letting the follower do some styling. I ran into one of the teacher/DJs there and asked him about it, and he said it was a good idea because it makes a woman feel "listened to." I thought I'd give it a try.
The next woman I danced with, I did like one or two turns to just show her I knew what I was doing, and then I opened up and let her style. Well, it turns out that was a very good move, since it was one of her favorite songs and she started singing along. I tried to keep up with her, and as I got to know the song, it occurred to me that I could time my moves around the vocals, and that would give me the pacing I need to give her breathing space. And I did, for the most part, and found that I felt less pressured to program the dance, now that I was letting the song do it. It helped, though, that she had taken a college course in dancing, and danced like a pro. In short, it felt more like a conversation than a speech. It was wonderful to learn that I could do something so simple, increase my partner's enjoyment of the dance, and at the same time take some pressure off myself.
She seemed to enjoy herself, too. Though, immediately afterwards, she ran off to talk to some friends almost immediately. I tracked down another teacher and asked her if that was a bad sign, and she said that it's just that the moment a dance ends, it's often pretty awkward, and flight instinct kicks in. It was then that I remembered that I've done the dance-and-ditch a few times myself. I'll have to learn how to deal with the post-dance situation, but that will come soon enough.
This weekend, there's an event... I'll post about it later.
The thing I'm most glad I learned is a certain aspect of not being self-centered in my dancing. Granted, as the guy I'm the lead, so naturally I'm going to have a lot of control over how the dance goes. So, my strategy has always been to think "OK, a move would be good.... NOW!" and then I'd do a move and she'd spin around and I'd be like "OK, I need a different move now. Oh no! I think I've done all my moves!" Then, between dances tonight, I decided to watch some poeple dancing and see what other people were doing differently from me, and I noticed that a lot of guys just took a few measures holding one hand and letting the follower do some styling. I ran into one of the teacher/DJs there and asked him about it, and he said it was a good idea because it makes a woman feel "listened to." I thought I'd give it a try.
The next woman I danced with, I did like one or two turns to just show her I knew what I was doing, and then I opened up and let her style. Well, it turns out that was a very good move, since it was one of her favorite songs and she started singing along. I tried to keep up with her, and as I got to know the song, it occurred to me that I could time my moves around the vocals, and that would give me the pacing I need to give her breathing space. And I did, for the most part, and found that I felt less pressured to program the dance, now that I was letting the song do it. It helped, though, that she had taken a college course in dancing, and danced like a pro. In short, it felt more like a conversation than a speech. It was wonderful to learn that I could do something so simple, increase my partner's enjoyment of the dance, and at the same time take some pressure off myself.
She seemed to enjoy herself, too. Though, immediately afterwards, she ran off to talk to some friends almost immediately. I tracked down another teacher and asked her if that was a bad sign, and she said that it's just that the moment a dance ends, it's often pretty awkward, and flight instinct kicks in. It was then that I remembered that I've done the dance-and-ditch a few times myself. I'll have to learn how to deal with the post-dance situation, but that will come soon enough.
This weekend, there's an event... I'll post about it later.
