(no subject)
Feb. 23rd, 2009 10:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unbibiumknow what's weird?
When I have some event to go to, or people to meet, especially if I'm invited, 4 out of 5 times I muster up the courage to show up, even if it takes a lot of effort to get there.
But when it comes to things I can do right at home to improve my situation, like partaking in hobbies or reading a book, or doing cognitive-behavior therapy exercises, lately I just get sad and figure it won't help and just try to find a TV channel that isn't showing a commercial. I've even been procrastinating on calling my counselor or psychiatrist to set up a follow-up appointment.
I came pretty close to pulling myself out of this a few times over the last year, but it just seems like this is going to be the rest of my life. My depression is like a katamari, made up of people who I'll never talk to again, and the bigger it gets, the more people I drive away.
I'll make it to my psychiatrist eventually, and I'm going to take the plunge and go on SSRI's. It's the one thing I haven't tried. And all it has to do is part the clouds long enough for me to be able to start doing the real work again, and consistently.
When I have some event to go to, or people to meet, especially if I'm invited, 4 out of 5 times I muster up the courage to show up, even if it takes a lot of effort to get there.
But when it comes to things I can do right at home to improve my situation, like partaking in hobbies or reading a book, or doing cognitive-behavior therapy exercises, lately I just get sad and figure it won't help and just try to find a TV channel that isn't showing a commercial. I've even been procrastinating on calling my counselor or psychiatrist to set up a follow-up appointment.
I came pretty close to pulling myself out of this a few times over the last year, but it just seems like this is going to be the rest of my life. My depression is like a katamari, made up of people who I'll never talk to again, and the bigger it gets, the more people I drive away.
I'll make it to my psychiatrist eventually, and I'm going to take the plunge and go on SSRI's. It's the one thing I haven't tried. And all it has to do is part the clouds long enough for me to be able to start doing the real work again, and consistently.
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no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 11:55 am (UTC)