Transformation

[unbibium]

tamtrible posted recently asking her audience about what they would do if they woke up and were suddenly different. It's in poll form, and fortunately, it doesn't focus on the obvious Kafka situation of waking up as a big ol' bug, but rather waking up to find that your body has changed in a very specific way.

I've never posed this situation to anyone, but I've wondered about it in my own mind, in order to make sense of the claims of various acquaintances with gender identity issues. I'm a straight male with the standard set of gender settings, so I couldn't really understand the claims without asking myself, if I woke up with the opposite set of genitals, but everything else was the same, would I start living my life as a woman, or would I continue to live as a man? I imagine I'd continue to live as a man. I don't really know how I'd factor in the possibility of living as a lesbian in order to increase my chances of finding a girlfriend, but I'm very bad at putting on affectations, so I don't think I'd do that.

What, then, would any of you do?

Comments

[ronebofh.livejournal.com]

It's tricky, because when your body changes, so does your mind. You and i would probably go through a stage of "phantom penis" and hurting our breasts because we're not used to having them.

I'd probably end up alternating between butch and femme a lot.

[tamtrible.livejournal.com]

Well, I tried to make all of my poll choices things that some people would like, and some wouldn't.
I don't know anyone who'd *want* to be a giant bug, but I *do* know people who'd want to be the opposite sex, or a vampire, or a glowy energy being...

[darquis.livejournal.com]

If I woke up with the opposite set of genitals, I'd buy stock in Durex and see the prices soar. Random sex without having to explain things beforehand and hoping the other person won't run? For the win!

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

Being married/in a long-term relationship complicates some of these questions, in ways that people really have to deal with.

I've heard that there is political tension between gay and trans activists over the question of straight couples who stay together but refuse to self-identify as gay after one partner transitions, usually because of the objections of the non-trans partner. Some argue that anyone who even tolerates that from a partner is being unacceptably homophobic, and there's suspicion of the motives of trans people who support same-sex marriage, that they're doing it just to make it easier not to make public declarations of gayness. I suppose part of the problem is the social insistence that gay is something you are or aren't, over and above being in love with a specific person.

I don't think Sam and I would have deal-breaking trouble with it, were either of us to wake up with the other plumbing; I self-identify as straight now (though I'm uneasy with self-identifying at all, since in my experience over-the-top gay panic is such a sign of an asshole) and I wouldn't consider it ideal were she to suddenly become male, but I'd probably adapt. But we live in a place where same-sex relationships are unusually well-tolerated, we have close family members who are in them, and same-sex marriages are already legal here. Many couples don't have that luxury.

Becoming female might be interesting but I know damn well that it comes with a heap of trouble too. At least it's a better historical moment than most.

I don't really know what "living as a man" means. You'd be pretty much forced to change some of your clothes and methods of peeing, and it might be hard to appear unambiguously male in public.

[mmcirvin.livejournal.com]

...and if it means "living as a pre-op F->M transsexual"... hmm. My first thought is that it'd be less trouble than just trying to be female, but actual F->M transsexuals undoubtedly feel that the resulting feeling of wrongness is just too much to handle, and I might actually end up feeling the same way (depending on the details of the transformation: does my body image change as well or do I constantly feel like I'm in the wrong body? I wouldn't know unless it actually happened.)

[pentomino.livejournal.com]

I almost suspect some people in the LGBT community are in it just to have a guarantee that there's something they can be outraged about.

[darquis.livejournal.com]

You'd do that, wouldn't you.

[darquis.livejournal.com]

I've heard that there is political tension between gay and trans activists over the question of straight couples who stay together but refuse to self-identify as gay after one partner transitions, usually because of the objections of the non-trans partner.

It works both ways - in some same-sex relationships the non-transitioning partner refuses to identify as not gay/lesbian after the other person transitions. It pisses some trans people off, others don't mind as long as they don't feel pressured back into their previous role.

[tamtrible.livejournal.com]

By the by, thank you to the people who took my poll after reading this. Yay for more responses!