confession time

[unbibium]

So, in Vegas, at the albinism conference, I met a girl.  Seems to always happen when I go on vacation.  I swear I'll never get another vacation crush, and suddenly some hot, smart 23-year-old starts following me around, telling me she'll wait for me when I mention I have to go back to my room and get something, instead of saying she'll catch me later... little hints like that.

I have a finite supply of charm in a given week, and I spent it all.  We talked to each other about our respective hometowns, and she's as proud of hers as I am of mine.  She tells the story of the gay waiter that hit on her dad.  I tell her that our locally-produced kids show had a superhero that was a bigger ham than Zapp Brannigan.  I spotted the guy who hosted the panel discussions on genetics and waved him over, and we both asked him a few questions.  Considering we both have albinism, she may have been impressed that I spotted a guy from 30 feet away.  I had her try some of the chipotle chocolate i got at the airport, and she liked it, and we had some fun watching a few more people try it.  And I delivered a few tactful compliments.

Saturday afternoon rolls around, and 5:00 approaches, time for the big group photo.  So she has to get fixed up.  And she does this by taking the scrunchie out of her hair, and putting on lipstick, which takes about 45 seconds.  This brings her from an 8 to a 9, which is as attractive as you can get before I start thinking you're a Cylon assigned to kill me.  And she achieved it without spending an hour fussing in the bathroom.  So I do what any rational man would do when confronted with such a sight, and asked her to marry me.

Her reaction was to ask me what religion I am, as if that would determine the answer.  I answered that I was an atheist.  The correct answer was Catholic, so she declined to marry me.  But she still seemed to want to be around me, and we continued to mingle in the crowd more or less together.

Feel free to chime in with how you would have played it at this point.  The story is to be continued.  But I figured I'd get out the part where things were going well, so I could get to sleep in a good mood.

Comments

[templeemc.livejournal.com]

Strangely enough some atheists and Catholics can really get along... at least til it comes to raising the children.

If you're looking for a one-liner, when she told you she was Catholic you could have said, "Don't worry. I won't hold it against you."

[pootrootbeer.livejournal.com]

I don't like that. It implies that you believe there's something wrong with her Catholicism.

[pentomino.livejournal.com]

Well, me being an atheist implies that I believe there's something wrong with her Catholicism.

[doubleonad.livejournal.com]

Not necessarily. It just means there is/would be something wrong with YOUR Catholocism.
It is possible for someone to be perfectly ok with their partner's beliefs, so long as they don't try to force them upon you.

[templeemc.livejournal.com]

In either circle, Catholicism or Atheism, there IS fundamentally something wrong with the other. Catholics honestly believe an Atheist is going to hell and Atheists I've known tend to find any belief in a personal god irrational. But I don't think that's the way it has to be.
An issue can be taken with any difference between two people. Rather than to imply there's something wrong, I think this comment is addressing the difference of religious views and saying that doesn't have to mean anything.
I realize it's wrapped up in sarcasm and if the conditions between the two of them aren't right, it could come off the way you're taking it, but that wasn't my intention and I think that's for him to judge.
I guess it depends on your sense of humour.

[pentomino.livejournal.com]

A better response might have been "The important thing is that I'm not a Protestant."

[templeemc.livejournal.com]

:)
Perfect.

[w-b-yeats.livejournal.com]

wait let me get this straight you asked a girl to marry you after five hours of talking to her?
Did it seem like a good idea at the time?
Do you think that might have been moving a little fast?

[doubleonad.livejournal.com]

I think he asked in jest, but maybe I didn't read it quite right...

[pentomino.livejournal.com]

It was in jest, or so I thought. I'm sure a lot of Vegas wedding stories begin just that way, though. But we were both sober, also.

[kerri9494.livejournal.com]

From just this one girl's perspective, though, it's a bit of an uncomfortable question, even though it was said in jest.

Thing is, it just sounds like you guys were having a good time. LIVE IN THE MOMENT and enjoy it! When all the enjoyable moments start to add up, well, then poof, relationship.

Are you two planning to keep in touch?

[stacebass.livejournal.com]

Feel free to chime in with how you would have played it at this point.

"Dang, her core values don't match mine, so we're fundamentally incompatible. Still, she's a cool person. I'll add her to my Facebook and stay in touch."

Atheism is going to be a deal-breaker for a lot of women. So is not wanting kids. You can either accept that, or become something you're not.

[pentomino.livejournal.com]

BTW, at that point, she already had my email address. She asked for it.

[pentomino.livejournal.com]

Also, being handicapped, a non-driver, a geek, overweight, and a renter, are all deal-breakers for a lot of women.

[stacebass.livejournal.com]

Not nearly on the same level. They're not about values.

[kerri9494.livejournal.com]

Precisely. There are the things you can't change...those are accepted. There are the things you can change...and you can, if that's important. And then there are the things that you *won't* change. Those are on a whole different level than the first two.

[zojas.livejournal.com]

I would have tried to escalate things physically... get some alone time, and see if some making out could be commenced. not too aggressive, not trying to go all the way, just see if there is passion on both sides.

[vyus.livejournal.com]

i think along these lines, but i wonder if our hero could've been capable of handling a potential rejection. i mean they were having a great time, so if she rebuffed an advance, he'd have to be able to be playful with it, take it in stride without feeling disappointed. cos a great time is a great time, don't wanna miss out in it just cos she doesn't wanna go smoochy.

[atillathehung.livejournal.com]

#1, never ask a woman to marry you in jest.
#2, "I could never get past the taste of those communion wafers." Probably not "Hey, if you had a Y chromosome, you wouldn't want anything to do with the Catholic church!"

[pentomino.livejournal.com]

It's not like I'm in danger of trying that again, considering the result was probably a best-case scenario.

Is #2 better than the Protestant line I came up with earlier in the thread?

[atillathehung.livejournal.com]

Either one would be fine. Both seem humorous, and only the uptight and easily offended would have a problem. And if she's easily offended, the odds of her giving anyone a plate of whisker biscuits it pretty unlikely.

In your next post, yes. The wingman would be an awesome luxury. The right one would be able to take a lot of points out of that guy. It would've been a fun exercise watching someone like Stan or me covering for you. It's my qualified opinion from what you've described that the guy was a total douche, and trying to scam on albino girls because he views them the same way many guys view bridesmaids: Easy to get to. Especially that part about how he wants albinos to feel better. How fucking patronizing can you get?

[pentomino.livejournal.com]

Well, who knows if he was even scamming on her. We're going off my memory here, after all, and I'm pretty damn paranoid. NOAH is a large enough organization, and this guy is well-known enough in it, that it would be kind of a scandal if he truly were behaving dishonorably.

Do wingmen really exist, outside those seduction-school psychological-mindfuck pickup-artist paradigms? I don't think anyone has ever performed that role for me. Or is it possible they were, but I wasn't aware of it?

[atillathehung.livejournal.com]

Absolutely! When Stan and I were single, we always looked out for each other. I always look out for Todd (though he ignores me most of the time!). If I am in public with any single male friend, I am always on the lookout for him. Always.

It's not a formal thing. I never had to say "Stan, clue me in if ya see any hot chicks eyeballing me." And a lot of the time, it was more egging each other on. But yes, it happens among friends who want to see other friends score.

What's considered behaving dishonorably? On the surface, there's nothing wrong with meeting a woman, knocking boots with her and it "not working out" and moving on. I dunno. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe your interpretation. If he was just being friendly, he surely might've noticed if anything was going on and maybe helped you two hook up. But, noooooo.

[pentomino.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't really know whether there's a code of honor within NOAH, and I'll never know if there were any signals left that we liked each other by then, that he could have been reasonably expected to pick up on. That indigestion took the wind out of my sails as much as anything. But, I'm going with the douchebag hypothesis mostly because of what happened the following day, and I haven't written about it yet.

I do remember at one of maree's parties, stacebass told me to tell one woman there that I was a Scorpio, and she'd probably sleep with me just for that. It turns out additional followup was required on my part, but I'm glad for the help regardless. It's more than anyone has ever helped me in that department at that other social circle.