(no subject)

[unbibium]

This OKCupid profile indicates the female equivalent of "no fatties":

Please don't contact me if you are a student at UAT. Please do not contact me if your main hobbies include gaming, programming, technology & gadgets, and other activities that involve many hours a day in front of a computer.

Comments

For a long time.

[vardissakheli.livejournal.com]

How long is a long time? If you are sincere, that won't matter.

Malicious translation:

I will lead you on forever until you realize I'm a castrating bitch.

What she probably thinks she's said:

If you have to ask, you can't afford me.

What's probably true:

I'm afraid to talk about sex and have unrealistic expectations of falling in love with someone who thinks about it exactly the same way I do without ever discussing it.

Jesus H. Christ

[lautreamontg.livejournal.com]

I'm not into techie stuff or gaming much, but man, just reading her profile is a gigantic turn-off. It's like the female equivalent of a profile by an obese balding man wearing gold chains and a wifebeater looking for his own Asia Carrera.

[kirkjerk.livejournal.com]

Just to followup to an old post, maybe only you'll see the reply Nick...

(alas her profile has been inactivated)

I heard what you're saying about "NO FATTIES" but I have a new theory that the most direct current euphemism is proclaiming oneself to be an "outdoor person". (The "so you shouldn't be a slug either" is implicit)

I came up with this theory looking at all those profiles that mention it; the number of gals who include that sentiment seems out of line with the number of women I see in real life who I'd consider "outdoorsy". Of course, while I like a good hike and have started walking to work every day, in all fairness I'm probably pretty low on the outdoorsy scale.

There a # of different theories that could explain this, though:
1. More women do more outdoorsy stuff than than I realize (somewhat likely)
2. For some reason outdoors people are disproportionately drawn to sites like OKC (rather unlikely)
3. Women like to think of themselves as outdoorsy, or think that the men they're looking for will find that attractive (rather likely)
4. Women think that "outdoorsy" guys are less likely to be fat shlubs

I'm sure the answer is a mix of all of this, but I still like my theory.

Damn, I wrote this up like I expected a fair # of people to read it. Though I'm not sure if i want to be this blunt on my own site.