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Packrat of the mind.
Oct. 1st, 2006 04:22 pmSome people have houses filled with stuff they never use but can't stand to throw away. You've probably seen the more extreme cases on television, where they'd go into someone's garage and it's filled with crap they bought on eBay to satisfy their drive to hoard. They'd go into a closet and find clothes bought ten years ago that were never worn. And every so often, on the news, there's a cat lady whose house is overrun with some large two-digit number of cats.
While I have my fair share of clutter, that's not the problem I'm talking about. I'm a packrat of the mind.
In my last year of college, I stumbled upon one too many chatrooms full of crazed fanboys, and vowed that I would never succumb to a mindset where I pursue one interest to the exclusion of everything else. Never mind that I never did that anyway, but I became deathly afraid of becoming the Comic Book Guy, and figured the way to do that was to diversify my interests and become as well-rounded as possible. Around this time, the media was talking about people suffering from "information overload", and I scoffed at those claims.
As a result, I've become unwilling to dismiss anything for lack of time or drive. I'm competent but occasionally rusty at a lot of things: guitar playing, swing dancing, cooking, etc. I'm mediocre-to-lame at a lot more things, though: chess, go, the piano, speaking a lot of languages. I've got shelves of books I haven't had time to read yet, video games I've played only the first level of, and DVD's that I've avoided watching because I just know that if I try hard enough, I'll think of something better to do. And there's always something new to try, from the crazy board games of TGS to outdoor activities I never considered before, like skiing and hiking. Not to mention my widely-dispersed collection of friends in many circles. There's the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
t_h_e_m circle, the friends I met through ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
stacebass, and a smattering of people I've kept in touch with from the old BBS days. Lots of acquaintances.
I am now faced with the reality that if I don't start pruning my brain, I'll be left with thousands of tiny, useless, fruitless branches, instead of a few thick, strong branches.
For example, I just bought two volumes of a Learn to Pllay Go series. I could spend the whole month plodding through these books, and at the end I'd be able to play a thousand-year-old board game at a decent level. That's nice, as I've always been interested by how simple rules can form complex patterns. But what does it really do for my career? My social life? My overall level of happiness? Isn't there something more useful or fun that I could be doing? It's entirely probable that I could just get rid of the books and take the pressure off.
After this one chapter. I've had this book open on my desk with a pencil as a bookmark in it all week. I promised myself I'd at least make it through the first volume without giving up this time. So, there's the rub: am I to be a packrat, or a quitter?
While I have my fair share of clutter, that's not the problem I'm talking about. I'm a packrat of the mind.
In my last year of college, I stumbled upon one too many chatrooms full of crazed fanboys, and vowed that I would never succumb to a mindset where I pursue one interest to the exclusion of everything else. Never mind that I never did that anyway, but I became deathly afraid of becoming the Comic Book Guy, and figured the way to do that was to diversify my interests and become as well-rounded as possible. Around this time, the media was talking about people suffering from "information overload", and I scoffed at those claims.
As a result, I've become unwilling to dismiss anything for lack of time or drive. I'm competent but occasionally rusty at a lot of things: guitar playing, swing dancing, cooking, etc. I'm mediocre-to-lame at a lot more things, though: chess, go, the piano, speaking a lot of languages. I've got shelves of books I haven't had time to read yet, video games I've played only the first level of, and DVD's that I've avoided watching because I just know that if I try hard enough, I'll think of something better to do. And there's always something new to try, from the crazy board games of TGS to outdoor activities I never considered before, like skiing and hiking. Not to mention my widely-dispersed collection of friends in many circles. There's the
t_h_e_m circle, the friends I met through stacebass, and a smattering of people I've kept in touch with from the old BBS days. Lots of acquaintances.I am now faced with the reality that if I don't start pruning my brain, I'll be left with thousands of tiny, useless, fruitless branches, instead of a few thick, strong branches.
For example, I just bought two volumes of a Learn to Pllay Go series. I could spend the whole month plodding through these books, and at the end I'd be able to play a thousand-year-old board game at a decent level. That's nice, as I've always been interested by how simple rules can form complex patterns. But what does it really do for my career? My social life? My overall level of happiness? Isn't there something more useful or fun that I could be doing? It's entirely probable that I could just get rid of the books and take the pressure off.
After this one chapter. I've had this book open on my desk with a pencil as a bookmark in it all week. I promised myself I'd at least make it through the first volume without giving up this time. So, there's the rub: am I to be a packrat, or a quitter?
