(no subject)

[unbibium]

Sometimes I think I'm an insensitive prick, but then ladder theory gets re-run on Fark and I remember what real insensitive pricks look like.

In summary, ladder theory is basically a sophisticated rant-whine about how if you're a woman's friend, you'll never get to bone her. It's pretty much a combination between a hack stand-up act and TimeCube.

If there's anyone under 20 reading this, I'd like to point out that by the time you're my age, you'll probably encounter many couples who were friends first, and then things turned romantic in some inexplicable, irreproducible way. This completely shatters ladder theory, to the point where no further criticism is necessary.

The way I can explain that is, during that moment when a man realizes he's not in a woman's immediate romantic interests, he might stop being a gentleman. This can manifest itself a number of ways:

1. "Just friends? Sorry, I just wanted to lay you. Bye!"
2. "Just friends? Good timing; I've been holding in this fart all morning."
3. "Just friends? What's wrong with me? I can fix it, I swear!"
4. "Just friends? Eh, that's OK, I can confide in you with all my problems now. Sit down, this'll take a few years."
5. "Just friends? That's cool. Do you have any cute friends you can hook me up with?"

How many ways can you think of, to turn "not right now" into "not in a million years"?

The point being, maybe we burn our own bridges. Bridges are a better metaphor, anyway. If you like ladders, go play Donkey Kong.

Comments

[pentomino.livejournal.com]

Actually the sizes at Excelsior Cafe made a little more sense, even if they were spelled with Japanese letters. Short was a small, for example. I forget the other two.

[atillathehung.livejournal.com]

Had they been medium and large, you'd not have forgotten!

[pentomino.livejournal.com]

Maybe they were Medium and Tall, in which case they'd cancel themselves out, because at Starbucks, isn't Tall a Medium?

[atillathehung.livejournal.com]

Yeah. That's exactly what's so fucked about the whole sizing system. I should make it my life's goal to force legislation that returns us to the halcyon days of small, medium and large.