I turned on PBS, there's a Frontline special about sex slavery in Afghanistan. Impoverished families are selling young boys to rich people, essentially. Authorities are uncooperative, and disobedient boys are often beaten and killed.

I've caught only the last 15 minutes. When they interviewed the family of one boy who had been murdered, and the mother was wearing a burqa. That's the cherry on top of a real shit sundae.

Holy shit, am I ever thankful to live in America.

When you heard of the 8-year-old who "confessed" to a double-murder, and searching your mind's eye for a default image of an eight-year-old, did any of you immediately think of Lisa Simpson? Because I sure can't name anyone else who's eight years old. Oh, wait -- the kid from Home Alone was 8 when he battled those robbers in that giant house.

In both cases, Hollywood has conditioned me to severely overestimate the cleverness of children.

Your news ticket for headlines that can be sung to the tune of Camptown Races.