(no subject)

[unbibium]

My grandmother may be dying. She's in the ER.

Pros to seeing her:

• Get to say goodbye.
• Get to face death.<
• Seeing me might give her strength.
• Might get off work early.
• Live up to my culture's ideal of not having any regrets.

Cons to seeing her:

• I have to see her hooked up to machines.
• She'd have to be seen hooked up to machines, probably without her wig.
• If she goes now, that's how I'd end up remembering her.
• Her immune system is weak, and I don't remember if I washed behind the ears this morning.

Anyway, my dad will pick me up from work if I want to go, and I'm sure I'd be able to. But I haven't had to deal with this before, and I'm scared.

If only I weren't at work now...

Comments

Likewise.

[vardissakheli.livejournal.com]

Go.

Re: Likewise.

[mezdeathhead.livejournal.com]

thirded. i almost didn't go when my grandmother was going. and the coolest thing happened while i was there...

amidst her pain she had about thirty seconds of clarity - the first time in a week. anyway, it happened while i was there in the room with her. i actually got to see her smile one more time.

had i not gone, i never would have known what i would have missed out on.

What I wasn't finding the words to say is

[vardissakheli.livejournal.com]

that I was very glad, no matter how awkward it was, that I spent that last evening in the hospital with my grandfather, and then saw him one more time after he went home to die.

[pootrootbeer.livejournal.com]

Go.

I wish I had been able to visit my grandmother one last time when she was dying, but I couldn't afford to leave school for a week to make the trip. The best I could do was to write a letter.

So visit the restroom, wash behind those ears, and get your dad to pick you up.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

I would definately go. I would want to be there with her.

But it's your decision.

[infrogmation.livejournal.com]

Yeah, go.
At least so you won't have to second guess yourself "Should I have gone?" in the future.

And you don't have to have how she appears in the hospital be your main memory of her.

Nick...

[lautreamontg.livejournal.com]

You should go. I can promise you that you won't remember her like how she is now, and it's important to say goodbye. My great grandmother was on the slow track down. Ever since I was 8, she was slowly dying. When she finally died, I thought all I would remember was the ghost in the nursing home, but instead my memories are of the vibrant woman who never stopped working in my boyhood. You'll remember all your good times with her, how she cared about you, and the time you spent with her. That's just human nature. It's okay to be afraid. That's also human nature. You should be with her a much as possible right now. Who knows, maybe your presence will turn things around. Those kinds of things may happen. If it doesn't then, at least you've showed that ultimately you care about her in the utmost. Nick, if you need to talk, we're all here for you, no matter what you decide to do. Our best wishes are with you.